Why?
by HetaliaAndSpamanoFangirl
Summary: Matthew is tired of the pain of bring alone and decides that the answer to the end of his suffering is suicide. He's thought about it before, but has never had the courage to act on it until now. However, his brother brings over someone named Gilbert, an albino Prussian who notices Matthew and can see him. Will he be able to save Matthew's life before he ends it? Rated for thoughts
1. Chapter 1

**AN: HOLA! Okay, so here's that Canada one-shot, I finished it so yay! Also, as you can see, there's no one-shot for the Italy's brothers…Yeah I just couldn't do it, everything I wrote sucked to me, so I'm really sorry for that. So, this includes thoughts of self-harm and suicide, (Damn, I write a lot of self-harm...oh well it expresses how I feel so deal with it) so if you're not into that, LEAVE! Anyway, if you want to listen to any music while reading this, I was listening to Lost Cause by Imagine Dragons, and it worked well. Or Invisible by Hunter Haynes works too! So I was watching Hetalia (when am I not...) and I felt really bad for Canada, I mean, really, how must he feel? Being alone all the time, at least Romano has Spain! Not that I don't love Romano, I mean, look at the stories I write! But Canada doesn't really have anyone...so I wrote this! This is a human-au, like most of my other stories, so I hope you enjoy. Also, this is for my friend named Lydia, since she's a huge fan of Canada and PruCan. So here you go Seychelles! (the character she cosplays as)**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own the anime or the characters, if I did, why would I be writing fanfiction? Exactly. **

**Matthew's POV**

Why? Why do you always forget me? What did I ever do to deserve this pain? I'm an A honor student, I'm never mean, or rude to people, even though some are to me. When they see me anyway. I try to make my parents proud, but even THEY don't notice me.

Hell, they always forget who I am, even though I've been living with them for years! My step-mom is always going on about how 'sweet' and 'heroic' he is, while my dad brags to his friends how 'strong, and such a ladies' man' he is. My brother is who I'm talking about here. My older (by three days) brother named Alfred, who has everything.

He's always in the spotlight, making people laugh and smile, while I'm just in his shadows, crying silently in the dark. My pet polar bear (yes, you heard right, but he'll never get any bigger than a dog) named Kumo-something forgets who I am too, but at least he cares for me in a way.

Right now I'm sitting in my living room, with him in my lap, taking a nap, while I'm thinking to myself. _'What's the point anyway? No one remembers Matthew Williams, and no one will. There's so much pain inside of me, so why should I continue to live with it?'_ Suicide. I could finally be happy! Whether I go to Heaven, Limbo, or just stay in the ground, it's got to be better than this consuming darkness inside of my heart.

"Hey Kumojungo, do you think anyone would notice if I were gone?" The white bear woke up from his nap, and turned his head to stare at me, confusion in his eyes. I sigh, knowing what he's going to ask, but try not to look upset about it. "Who are you?" The slightly high-pitched voice asked me. "I'm Matthew, your owner" Tears start to well in my violet eyes, and I silently let them fall. I'm not a loud crier after all.

The bear frowns slightly as he remembers and he sits up, drying my tears away with his paws. "I'm sorry Matthew. Wanna go get some pancakes? I'm hungry" I laugh and smile at kimojingle, picking him up and carrying him with me into the kitchen. As I'm pouring the batter into the hot pan on the stove, kumojaro watching me, my brother bursts through the door.

I jump, but he doesn't seem to notice me until he smells the pancakes. "WHOAH! Who are you? Please don't hurt me dude, the hero promises to give you anything as long as you leave!" Alfred shouts at me, slight fear in his blue eyes. I stare sadly at him, my glasses fogging up slightly from the heat of the pancakes. My thoughts turn south, and suddenly, everything feels heavy.

I feel so tired, I just want to sleep and drop the pancakes. It's even difficult for me to blink! Shit, depression. _'Maple, why now?!'_ I'm so focused on my thoughts that I don't notice an albino walk in behind my brother. "I'm Matthew, your brother. I've been living with you for years! We're practically twins!" I say, my voice cracking slightly. God, it's hard to talk. My tongue feels like paper, and I feel as if I'll fall over any second.

Alfred blinks at me for a couple of seconds before grinning, and grabbing a plate of pancakes. "Oh yeah! My bad bro. Oh! This is Gilbert by the way; he's here to help me with a science project." I looked over to the guy Alfred was pointing at, and tried to hide my gasp. Not because of his ruby red eyes, or his white hair, but because he looked so...handsome.

He looked around 17, a year older than me, but he had such...beautiful eyes. Those eyes turned to me, and he grinned, making me blush slightly. "Hey! I am the awesome Gilbert, but you can just call me Gilbert for short...Wait I've seen you in school before, you're actually in some of my classes! Guess you must be pretty damn smart huh?"

I grabbed some more pancakes and sat them on the table with some butter and maple syrup in case Gilbert wanted any. '_He knows who I am? He actually saw me?'_ I thought with wonder. I shyly smiled at him, and said "H-Hi. I-I guess, I've got nothing much else to do, so I k-kind of just focus on my studies. I really didn't think anyone noticed me..." I say quietly. To the point where he has to lean in slightly to hear what I'm saying.

Actually, I have hockey, but its Spring, so I don't get to play. At this point, Alfred had already gone up to his bedroom to 'set up for the project' when he was really probably just going to play videogames. Gilbert stared at me for a moment, confusion roaming in his eyes. "What do you mean you don't think anyone noticed you? You're so cute and your eyes are an awesome shade of violet! Who wouldn't notice you?" He said to me, his cheeks turning a slight red when he realized what he had said. I on the other hand, was blushing so hard that my face felt like it was going to melt!

"U-Um a lot of people to be honest...I'm not very memorable actually. The only reason why my eyes are violet is because of an eye disorder I have..." Gilbert continued to stare at me, making me feel as if I am a painting in a museum. I think he seemed to notice this, because he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, people are just stupid assholes, and you're wrong, you're awesomely memorable. You just got to find the right people who will see that. And who cares if you have a disorder? That just makes you more unique, I mean c'mon, if you think that's weird, take a look at me man!" Gilbert said, making me smile at his words.

**3rd POV**

Gilbert's heart skipped a beat at the sight of Matthew's smile. Did he have a crush on the Canadian? Why yes, yes he did. He noticed Matthew everywhere, in class, at lunch, hell they even worked at the same place!

It had taken him a while to realize that he did indeed, like Matthew. Thankfully, his two best friends Francis and Antonio, two experts at love, helped him figure out why his heart would skip sometimes when he saw the shy guy. All the Prussian wanted to do, was to take the small boy into his arms, kiss him with all of his being, and tell him that there was someone who noticed him, and loved him with all of his heart.

'_Wait, love?...Shit, well there goes 'getting over this' oh well, the awesome me will love him with all of my awesome heart!'_ But, he knew that he had to start off with being Matthew's friend first, before they get into a relationship. Even though it's so un-awesome. "And don't worry; I'll be your friend from now on!"

**Matthew's POV**

I stared at him, slightly shocked. I mean, who would want to be my friend? The shy nerd who no one cares about, and no one sees. _'*sigh* Might as well let it happen. It's not like that's stop me from my suicide plan anyway.' _I thought to myself. I looked up and stared at Gilbert's ruby red eyes, and sighed quietly.

"Okay...You'll forget who I am sooner or later. Everyone does." I saw Gilbert frown, but surprisingly, he didn't say anything. We sat there for a minute, me deep in my thoughts, and Gilbert staring. So, we both jumped when Alfred grabbed Gilbert's arm, and looked at him with slight confusion.

"Dude, what are you staring at? I don't see anything man. By the way, have you seen my brother umm...what's his name?" Alfred asked, looking right past me. Gilbert snapped his head over to where he was standing, and back to me, anger and shock making his beautiful eyes shine a dark red. '_Wait, beautiful? Oh maple please don't let me get a crush on him. It'll make it harder for me to leave.' _I thought in slight shock.

"Are you fucking serious?! Your brother Matthew is right at the table in front of you!" Gilbert exclaimed. Alfred squinted his eyes at the table, and his eyes widened as they saw that was indeed, right there at the table. "Oh! There you are! Sorry dude, you're really quiet, and it's really hard to notice you. You kind of just fade in and blend in with everything..." Alfred said bluntly.

I felt my vision go blurry, and I knew that tears were filling my eyes. '_Damn it Matthew, you should be stronger than this!' _My mind tells me. None the less, I look down at the table to hide the tears, and thankfully, Alfred doesn't seem to notice. At the moment, being preoccupied, I don't notice Gilbert staring at me sadly, and burning holes into Alfred's head at the same time.

"I'm going to go upstairs and hang out in my room for a little while alright? Please be polite to our guest Al, and don't make a mess. I really don't want to have to pick it up before mom and dad gets home." I say, trying not to let my voice crack. I stood up from the kitchen table, and put my plate in the sink, before grabbing my bear, and traveled up to my bedroom.

I didn't notice Gilbert's sad gaze at me, or my brother's confused one.

**Back to 3rd POV**

Gilbert watched with a pain in his heart, as Matthew tried to hide his tears of sorrow. It was taking all of his awesome willpower **not** to walk up to Alfred, and punch him straight in the face. '_Okay, let's not do that, I don't want to get in trouble when their parents get home. That would be SO un-awesome. Let's handle Matthew, and then later, I can punch his son-of-a-bitch brother.' _Gilbert thought to himself, and slowly uncurled his right fist, letting it hang loosely by his side.

By the time Gilbert had calmed down, Matthew had already gone to his room to be alone. Alfred was smiling confusingly, wondering why his brother was acting so strange, but decided to ignore it, and went to go play videogames, forgetting about the project he and Gilbert had to do. The Prussian rolled his eyes at the American, and went upstairs as well, going to search for Matthew.

**Yes I know, so many pov changes. Oh well, deal with it. Matthew POV**

I slowly walked up the staircase, holding Kumohundle close to my chest as I went. As soon as I got to the top, I ran to my bedroom door as quickly as I could. When I walked in, I could smell the maple-scented candle I had put in here last night, and smiled slightly. My smile wobbled as I closed the door, and let the tears I had been holding back fall.

I didn't care to lock the door-who would think to come in here if they didn't know who I was? So, I sat on my bed, and cried into my pet's fur, holding onto him for dear life. '_I try so hard to live, and hope for the best, but I'm just...so tired of the pain.'_ I thought, trying desperately to work through my hit of depression.

Suddenly, the idea of suicide and self-harm come back into my thoughts. '_Just one bullet Matthew, that's all it would take! You know where your parents gun is at, they wouldn't miss it! You could also take a handful of pills if you don't want attention, or slit your wrists! If you want to start out slow, than make baby cuts on your arm until you get used to the pain. There are so many ways Matthew!'_ "Shut up, shut up shut up please!" I plead my thoughts to stop, making my depression worse.

I keep muttering to myself, trying to get my head under control and calm down. "Are you okay?" My bear asked me, concern and worry shining in his eyes. I sigh sadly as my tears finally stop, and shake my head. "No Kuma, I'm not. I don't think I've ever been okay. I mean, what's the point in living, when you have nothing to live for?" I answered.

Before he could reply, I hear a knock at my door, making me jump slightly. "Hey, mind if the awesome me comes in?" Gilbert asks me, his red eyes peeking through the crack of my door. I stand up, walk over, and open the door fully, making sure to put on a fake smile. "Sure Gilbert, come on in!"

**And here's Gilbert's POV**

I watched as Matthew came to the door, his violet eyes shining with something I couldn't really make out. It worried me slightly. He put on a smile-which I could tell wasn't real, and said "Sure Gilbert, come on in!" He opened the door for me, and I immediately was assaulted with the smell of maple syrup, making me crave the pancakes Matthew made earlier.

His room (even though I hardly know him) really looked like his personality. With light purple walls, and the Canadian flag hanging over his bed, the covers and sheets having little maple leafs all over them. Matthews bed had a polar bear stuffed animal-and I chuckled at it, smiling at the pancake pillow on there too. I looked to the wall in front of the bed, and found a bookshelf covered with books and trophies. I was slightly curious as to where he got those, when I looked to the corner, and saw some hockey gear, and a well-taken-care-of hockey stick, the Canadian flag on it too.

There was a poster of what looked to be like an awesome hockey team, one that I loved too. Holy crap it had the team's signature on it! There were some other posters of bands that I also liked, like Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boy, Peirce The Vail, and U2. HOLY SHIT THAT BEAR JUST MOVE AND SCARED THE AWESOME ME! It got down, and Matthew smiled at it as it came to me, and sat down.

"Who are you?" It asked-yes ASKED me, and I would've found his voice adorable if it were not a talking polar bear. "Mattie why the hell do you own a polar bear and how the fuck can it talk!" Matthew picked him up and explained to me.

"Well, see when I lived in Canada with my real mom, she worked at a zoo, and there was a section that had polar bears. So, one day she was working, and this little one got hurt, preventing him to grow any bigger.

So, she knew that I always wanted to have one, and she knew he was trained to be around kids. So, she asked her boss if she could have him, and since her boss didn't want to have to spend any more money on the animals than he had to, he said okay. I don't know how he talks; he just...did one day." Matthew shrugged.

I nodded, and then realized that he said his **real **mom in Canada. I decided that since I just met him today, that I wouldn't ask too many questions. I looked at his nightstand, and saw a picture of a tall, slender blonde woman, with violet eyes just like Matthew. She was smiling as she held a little boy in her arms, which looked no more than four, who was also smiling. It was obvious that the boy in her arms was her son, since they looked a lot like each other. The same eyes, hair, even the same weird curl that went from their forehead down to their chin.

It only took a moment for me to realize that this boy was Matthew, and this woman was his real mother. Matthew looked at me, and seemed to guess what I was wondering about, and surprisingly answered my question.

"When I was nine, my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer that grew over the years. My dad, Alfred's dad, had been with my mom before I was born, but when he found out that he was pregnant with me, he left for America. So, she took care of me, but the cancer got stronger, and eventually took her life when I was twelve. So, having no other family, I was sent to America, and by then, my 'dad' had already gotten married to Alfred's mom, and he happened. So, when I got here, they had no other choice but to adopt me and Alfred was my age. I miss her a lot actually."

...It took all of my awesomeness to fight the urge to hug him and tell Matthew that everything was okay, and that I would protect him.

**Matthew POV**

As soon as I was done, all I could feel was shock. This man that I just met not too long ago was in my room, and I already told him part of my past?! I must have lost my mind! Was I that lonely? But something just…pulled me to him, and I wanted to tell him everything.

How I just wanted someone to be there for me, and to see me, to care for me. How I honestly wanted to die, and leave this world forever. How this wasn't the first time I've thought about self-harm, but I was terrified about the prospect of dying. I was afraid of the unknown, because I didn't know what would happen if I pulled the trigger, or lost all of my blood, or died from medication.

And that's what has kept me here on Earth for all of my life.

Suddenly, a pair of arms linked around my waist, and I felt myself being hugged for the first time in a long time. It wasn't a tight hug like I was expecting to come from Gilbert, but a gentle, soft one that made my heart flutter. Wait, my heart flutter? Oh maple, this isn't going to end well for me.

Because honestly, who would like me? I'm really not that attractive or good-looking, my eyes are weird, and so is my curl. I look weak, and I kind of am, emotionally and physically. I'm not that interesting, and I'm pretty much…normal. A Prussian voice interrupted my thoughts.

"I'm so, so sorry Mattie. You out of all people don't deserve all of this. You're mom must've been an awesome woman if she made you. You know what? I'll be here for you, always. I will never leave you, and I'll always be there to help and be your friend. I awesomely promise." I didn't notice until now that I had started to cry during my mother's story, and I slowly leaned against Gilbert's chest.

'_Damn it Matthew! Now what? You can't die now, or you'll feel bad! Don't trust this cocky bastard Matthew, he'll only leave you and betray you like so many others!' _ I ignored my thoughts as Gilbert started to run his fingers through my hair.

"I promise" He repeated, as if he was saying it to himself.

I shoved my thoughts from my mind, took a deep breath, along with a leap of faith, and decided to trust and believe him.

**AN: So, Do you guys like? No, this is probably not the end, and I possibly will make a sequel to this, and it will be done. But, I honestly want to hear what you guys think. Should I make the second chapter? Or do you want me to leave it like this? Thanks for the reviews and likes that you guys give my stories! Ti Amo you guys 3 I would not be able to make these without y'all :) So, until the next chapter to this, La Bella Madre Italiana, or any new story, Peace!**

**HetaliaAndSpamanoFangirl**


	2. Why Does Life Hate Me?

**AN: Hello once again! Okay, so I know I'm usually quick when it comes to updating...but I had some serious writer's block for this. Every time I would write the beginning, it all sounded wrong, and I just completely doubted if I could finish this. Believe me, I wanted to, but it just didn't seem to work no matter how hard I tried. So, FINALLY it went away, and I was able to finish it! YAY! Anyway, so this is the last chapter…I think…and I really hope you guys like it, I'm sorry if it isn't to your liking, but I tried my best :)**

**Disclaimer-...do I have to say it? (Romano-Yes, now hurry the fuck up) Fine, I DONT OWN ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS! not the characters, the anime, NATA!**

**Three Months Later-Matthew POV**

I walked up to the dull, slightly gray building, and stopped in front of the main entrance doors. I did NOT want to be here. AT ALL. "Lovino, do I have to go inside? I don't even know this person I'm going to be talking to!" I exclaimed to the person beside me, who happened to be my best friend.

See, a couple of weeks after I had decided to trust Gilbert, he had started introducing me to his friends. One of them was actually a long lost cousin of mine, Francis. But anyway, some of them forgot who I was...again, actually, only three people recognize me, and don't see right through me.

The first is my best friend, who I mentioned earlier, Lovino Romano Vargas. He never forgot my name, and we always hang out. He has dark, auburn hair, with a strange curl that never goes down, and is always on the left side of his head. Lovino's eyes were a light green, with hazel flecks in them, and a fierce personality. He's always cursing, but I don't really mind, and loved tomatoes.

We connected instantly, since we both had loveable brothers, who always took the spotlight without knowing it. Him and I go to the library constantly, since we both love reading, and always talk to each other. Since we always talk, he eventually found out about my depression, and all the things that go through my mind.

It was actually quiet heart-breaking when he hugged me, and he said that he had it too, but that we would be okay. Really, he's a very caring person, he's just a little akward, and doesn't know how to show it. As soon as he found out though, he dragged me to go get tested, since he's older than me, and turns out I have a lot going on with me.

Depression, lots of anxiety, under-weight, which is surprising. The doctor suggested that I go to therapy, which Lovino agreed to, since he's been through what I'm going through right now. I had reluctantly agreed, but told Lovino that he had to go with me for moral support.

The other two people who are my friends, are Francis, and Michelle. Francis is...interesting to say the least. As soon as we met, he tried to make a move on me, but retreated once he saw that we were cousins. Ever since then, he always calls me, telling me who he was dating, and telling me how cute I was...Which gets really annoying, but he's very sweet, so I let it slide.

He has blonde hair like mine, except without the curl, and with longer hair, it reaches his shoulders! With bright blue eyes, that charms every woman, and sometimes man that he meets.

Michelle is a very kind girl, and acts like my sister a lot of the time! She loves the ocean, is always smiling, and I'm pretty sure she's from Seychelles. She has a dark tan, with black hair that's always in pigtails, red ribbons tying them up. Michelle for some reason always wears a dress, but mostly wears this blue one, she said it was her mothers.

Anyway, so, back to where I'm terrified of going to see this person I don't know, but am expected to tell my problems to.

"Yeah, you have to go in. Besides, you're not going in there all by your damn self, so calm down." I looked to Lovino, sighed at my failed attempt, and opened the doors. It was actually very colorful inside the therapy building compared to the outside, but I didn't trust it.

Lovino looked at me, and tried to give me a reassuring smile, while we both went up to the front desk. "Ciao, we're here to see Mrs. Edelstein? Appointment for Matthew Williams?" Lovino asked for me. I silently thanked him, and he nodded In my direction.

The lady-who's name tag said Ms. Clare- looked confusingly at him and I, and I sighed, knowing what she was going to ask. "Okay, I see your appointment right here, but Mr. Williams, what are you staring at?"

Lovino clenched his hands, and took a deep breath before saying "My best friend, Matthew Williams. He's right fucking there!" He said, forgetting his manners to women for a moment and pointing to where I was at. Ms. Clare stared at me for a few moments before her eyes widened behind her glasses, and she gasped.

"Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there! Please go through that door. Do you want to wait in the waiting area?" She said, apologizing to me before asking Lovino the question. "I-It's not a problem mam...He can go with me, and I-it's alright..." I said, getting quiet at the end.

Lovino looked at me with an apology in his eyes, as the woman nodded, and we both went through the door. '_Thank God she didn't notice Kuma'_ I thought as I held him tightly, and saw Mrs. Edelstein sitting in a room with a couch.

Lovino walked ahead of me, and sat down, scaring the woman a bit. I followed quietly, and sat beside him, clutching the small bear in my hands tightly. "Why hello there you two! Now which one of you is Matthew?" She asked kindly, and I stared at her for a few seconds, shocked that she could see both of us.

She had long brown hair that fell to her waist, and a green dress on, reaching to the bottom of her knees. She had green eyes, and a motherly smile on her face. I spoke up after a while, the staring unnerving me. "I-I'm Matthew. this is my best friend, Lovino. I-It's alright for him to be here, right?" I asked, pointing to my bear, hoping that he was okay to be in my session.

Mrs. Edelstein laughed lightly, and grabbed her notepad and pen, nodding at me while taking notes. "Of course it is dear! As long as it's fine with you, he can be in every session! If it helps your anxiety to go down while your in here. You seem very scared and stressed right now. But don't worry, I promise I don't bite! I just want to ask you a few questions okay?" She said, smiling when she saw my shoulders relax a bit.

"A-Alright..." I said, hugging Kumo-something to my chest. Lovino patted my shoulder awkwardly, blushing slightly. "I-It'll be alright Matthew. See? I told you that you'd be fine damn it." He said, trying to calm down my nerves.

I smiled at him, and sat up a bit, and that's when my therapist asked the questions.

**One hour later**

"That wasn't so bad I guess…" I said to Lovino who nodded in agreement. Really, all Mrs. Edelstein did was ask me how I was doing now, where I had met Lovino, if I had other friends, and things like that.

She was very kind and understanding when I told her that people tended to see through me, and she said that she understood what I was going through. That was very calming to hear, and she was just really sweet to me and Lovino the whole time she took notes, and made me laugh several times. Even managing a small chuckle from Lovino! My best friend who NEVER laughs!

"See? Didn't I tell you that you would be fucking fine?" Lovino asked me as we crossed the street to go to our favorite café. It was small, and kind of old, but we both liked it, since it sold home-made sweets, and had the best coffee ever! Plus, they had a small section that had tons of books for you to read while you eat, which Lovino and I took advantage of every time we went.

We both LOVED reading. I loved it because I could pretend to be a character who always gets their problems solved, and just…escape my life for a moment. Same thing for Lovino, since he hardly has any friends either, and still has slight depression.

"Yeah yeah, you did. Let's just get inside, it's starting to get really hot out here." I said, walking faster to get inside the cool café. We both opened the doors and sighed happily as the scent of baked goods drifted to our noses.

"Welcome to Café Espagna, how may I help you?" A kind woman asked from behind the counter. We smiled at her (Since Lovino was taught to be kind to women) and as Lovino ordered an expresso, I decided to look through the books, and pick something out, since I doubted the lady would see me anyways.

I grabbed one that looked interesting to me, and thanked Lovino when he handed me an maple iced mocha, and a blueberry muffin. We both grabbed the books we wanted, and sat down at a near table, both of us going into our own worlds as we ate and read about the character's adventures.

**Three hours later, (it's around two pm)**

"Wow, that book was amazing! I wish I could take it home with me…" I say sadly, as we both finish our books, our food already eaten an hour ago.

"Yeah, me too, but we can't, since this damn place won't let us rent them." Lovino says to me, Putting our stuff in the trash and putting the books we had borrowed back in their respectful place.

As we went through the front door and onto the sidewalk, a figure stop us, and I freeze, my face paling slightly. "Hey Canadian bitch, want to be our punching bag for today?" He asks. I shrink behind Lovino as he silently fumes, going up to the man to cuss him out.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your stupidity. It almost sounded like you called my best friend a bitch. I don't know what the fuck you're thinking, but I'm this close to kicking your sorry ass, and using my skills that I learned from The Mafia." Lovino says, scowling at the man while I say nothing.

'_Damn it Matthew, stop being a damn wuss and actually do something for crying out loud!'_ My thoughts tell me, as I hold Kumawhyhiddle closer to my chest. "HAH! Like a little brat like you is going to do anything about it. Now move out of my way, he needs his weekly beating." The teen says as he pushes Lovino to the ground and punches me in the face.

I fall and let Kuma go, yelling at him and Lovino "Go already! I don't want you to get hurt!" The teen above me kicks me in my ribs and I gasp, hardly being able to breathe. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I hear a voice yell, and I get a harder kick in the stomach, and I hear and feel a rib crack.

I curl into a ball before I see Lovino tackle te teen, and knock him out with a few punches. Soon after, Kuma runs up to me as Lovino helps me up. I shake as I stand, hardly being able to, and gasp as a wave of nausea and pain flow over me, and I clutch my stomach and ribs in pain.

I feel someone pick me up, and look to see Lovino carrying me, his face worried. "You're gonna be alright Matthew, c'mon let's get you to my place, no one should be there anyway." He says, and I weakly nod, as I hold my bear to my chest.

While Lovino is carrying me to his house, I hear a faint voice ask "Mattie, are you okay?" I look down to see my bear staring sadly at me, and I smile, seeing that he remembered who I am without me having to tell him. "Yeah, I will be." I say back, and he nods, falling asleep on my stomach.

Thank God he's not heavy.

**Ten minutes later, Lovino POV**

'_God he's so fucking light. That bastard better be hurting later on.' _I think to myself as I hurry to my house.

Hopefully, grandpa Rome and Feliciano won't be home, that would be embarrassing, seeing as they wouldn't know who the hell this person in my arms was. Thankfully, I got to the house quickly, and I shift Matthew in my arms as I unlock the door, but pause when I see it's already opened.

I look down at my best friend to see him sleeping, and I sigh sadly before opening the door. I look around, and glare at the three people in my living room. "What the hell are you bastards doing in my house?!" I whisper-yell, trying not to wake the sleeping boy in my arms.

Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio turn their heads over to me, and then stare at the sleeping Matthew in my arms. Gilbert quickly runs over when he sees the cuts on his arms from when he fell, taking him into his own arms even though I protest. "Damn it, what are you doing? You need to be careful!" I said as Gilbert out him on the couch, Francis grabbing a blanket and Antonio walking over to me.

Antonio was my other best friend, he had dark green eyes, with brown curly hair. It always looks fucked up, but somehow, it suits him. He was Spanish, which explained the tan he had, and was a very kind person, even though he's a dumbass. And the thing that was shitty, was that me and Matthew had another thing in common. We were both in love with idiots.

That's right, not crushing on, not in like, no, in LOVE. With our best friends, cliché right? Anyway, the bastard can't take any fucking hints, no matter how many I give him, so I just assume he's not gay. "Lovi~ What happened to Mattie?" He asks me, whispering as Gilbert and Francis fret over Matthew.

I look at Antonio, and sigh, beckoning Francis and Gilbert over to us so I could explain. "We were over at the café we always go to, and we stayed there for a few hours, just reading like usual. Then, as we leave, this bastard decides that he wants to use Matthew as a fucking punching bag! So, I try to get him to back the hell off, but he shoves me to the ground, and starts to beat the shit out of him! I'm pretty sure he has a cracked rib, so that's why I brought him here, since I doubt his dumbass parents would do anything about it." I say to the three of them.

Gilbert had started to clench his hands, as his eyes went blood red in anger. He left with a muttered curse, as he went to get some medical supplies. Antonio and Francis were looking over sadly at Matthew, Antonio muttering something about getting his battle axe, which freaked me out slightly.

Francis went over to Matthew, and started to pet his hair soothingly. I walked over to Matthew, and held his hand as Gilbert lifted up his shirt, and we all winced at the bruises that were starting to turn purple. Antonio petted my hair when I started to tear up. Yes I'm aloud to cry! This was my best friend who was hurt damn it!

When Gilbert was done bandaging him, I picked Matthew up, and put him in one of the guest bedrooms. As I walked back to the main room, I quietly said to Gilbert "You can go up there. But I'm trusting you only because Matthew does too, and I know you love him." Gilbert looked at me, surprise and a blush on his face as he nodded, and went upstairs.

Francis sighed, and he said "Do you want me to call his parents and let them know that their son is here?" I snorted as Antonio started to make some paella for us and said "No, those bastards don't even know who Matthew is. If they worry, good."

**Back to Matthew POV**

Everything was foggy and black, I couldn't see anything. I heard a voice calling my name, and I recognized it as Gilbert's voice. My heart skipped a beat when I heard him say my name once more, before I realized that I was in a bed, and I could probably open my eyes and sit up.

So, I did just that, and opened my eyes, which was hard to do, considering they felt like they were stuck together with glue. I saw a pale figure sitting next to my bed, holding my hand, and red eyes staring into mine as I started to see clearly. But, I didn't have my glasses, so everything was fuzzy.

Thankfully, Gilbert seemed to notice my struggle, and handed them to me, sadly letting go of my hand. I put them on, and tried to sit up, but fell back once I felt the pain in my ribs. '_What happened?...Oh yeah, that idiot happened. God, why does he only go after me? I didn't even do anything to him. I don't even know the guy!'_ I thought to myself, as I looked at Gilbert.

"Are you okay Birdie?" He asks me, worry shining in his ruby red eyes. I try to smile, but my lips won't move for me. So, I just decide to be honest, and sigh, shaking my head. "No" I say simply, Gilbert frowning at my answer.

"I'm so, so, sorry this happened to you Mattie, I promise this won't happen again." I laugh with the humor gone from my voice, as I look at him. '_Well, things can't get any shittier, might as well tell him why my life is not worth living' _I think to myself.

"That's what everyone says. But you know what? This has been going on for years! Every person I've met has told me that I would be alright, and that nothing and would ever happen to me again. Well, that is total bullshit! Every week, some teen comes to beat me until I can't breathe or fight back. Every hour of every day, I'm trying to convince myself that DYING IS NOT THE ANSWER. That I should live, because things can't get any worse right? But no, bad things always happen to me, while Alfred gets a happy life. Why do I suffer for much when I've done nothing wrong? Why do I suffer from my thoughts telling me ways to kill myself? WHY?! So how can you say that it won't happen again, that I won't be hurt again, when I won't be forgotten, when it did?" I explode to Gilbert, expressing my pain as I start to feel tears slide down my cheeks.

Gilbert stares at me shocked. '_Great, now you've freaked him out with your pain. See what you've done now Matthew? Now he's going to leave you like everyone else, eventually Francis, Michelle, and Lovino will start to hate you. And you'll be left all alone. What'll you do then hm? Will you finally stop being a coward, and just end your misery?' _My mind tells me, and I start to cry even more, horrified at the thought of everyone leaving me again.

I hear the door slam open, and stare as Lovino stares at me and Gilbert for a moment, before saying "What the hell did you do to make Matthew cry you bastard?" Gilbert snaps out of his shock, and looks sadly at me, before sighing, and saying "I'll be right back Mattie." Before he walks past Lovino, and walks downstairs.

Lovino stares at me, sadness in his eyes, as I start to cry harder. He sighs, and walks over to the bed, and holds me, whispering how Gilbert was just a bastard, and probably needed to go get a potato. I laughed shakily, and told him what happened.

Lovino stared at me for a moment, before saying "He's just fucking shocked. He probably needs to think about what you said. Remember how I needed an hour when you told me about how bad your depression was? And besides, despite what you think, he loves you too." Now it was my turn to be shocked, and I stared at him in disbelief.

'_Yeah right, like he would ever love me back. A depressed kid, with serious anxiety, and a nerd who wants to kill himself'_ My head tells me, while my heart starts to beat faster. "Matthew, I know what's going through your head right now, I can tell. He DOES love you, and I know because Antonio told me, since Gilbert told him. It's going to be okay Matthew, I swear on my life it will be." Lovino says, turning on a movie that I love as he lets me go.

"Now, until that bastard decides to come up and apologize, why don't we watch a movie?" Lovino says, putting on bambi, my secret pleasure. "Sure Lovino, I would love that. But I hope you're right about Gilbert, if he leaves…I don't know what I'll do." I say to him, Lovino laying beside me as we watch the movie that I love.

'_Please don't leave me Gilbert. I know I have my issues, but I won't survive without you. Don't leave me, so many others already have.' _

**_AN:_**** So yeah...there's obviously going to be a part three. I had to split them up, or else it would've been way to long of a chapter. I hope you guys liked this! So, until the next chapter in this, my other stories, or anything new, Peace!**

**HetaliaAndSpamanoFangirl**


	3. We All Get Our Happy Ending

**AN: Ciao guys! So...I didn't have writers block with this, but its just that I got lazy. Since it's Spring Break for me, I don't really feel like doing anything, but eventually, I got off my ass and started writing. So sorry for the long wait you guys. I'll try not to let it happen so much :) ANYWAY, so I think this is the last chapter for this, and I would like to thank every single guest, writer, and reader for the encouragement in this! I'm so glad that y'all loved this as much as I loved writing this, and I'm happy that I didn't mess up writing Matthew and Gilbert, since I'm used to writing Antonio and Lovino. So, without further ado, here's the last chapter for Why?**

**Disclaimer-ONCE AGAIN, I DONT OWN ANYTHING THAT IS MENTIONED! IF I DID, I WOULD HAVE MORE PRUCAN AND SPAMANO IN THE SHOW! Anyway, ONWARD!**

_**Lovino POV**_

As Bambi ended and the credits started, I looked at Matthew once again. God he looked like a wreck, I mean damn. His violet eyes were darker than usual, and were dull, empty of life. The injuries he had gotten from earlier were starting to stand out and bruise in ugly shades of yellow, purple, and blue. His odd curl seemed to droop and spiral lower than usual, and he just looked...so fucking depressed.

Matthew just stared as the credits rolled on the TV, and I wondered what was going through his mind, hopefully nothing bad. Though I wouldn't blame him if his thoughts were turning south. I sighed and stood up to go take out the movie, and turn the television off. Matthew wasn't really watching anyway. '_I swear on my tomato garden, if Gilbert doesn't get his ass up here soon and make things up with Mattie ,I'm dragging him up the stairs.'_ I thought to myself.

"Hey Matthew, what are you sad about?" I asked him quietly. We played this game with each other called "Emptying The Bucket". One person would ask the other what they were sad about, and they were not aloud to react at all to what they said. All we were aloud to say, was "Thanks for telling me. What else are you sad about?" until the person couldn't think of anything else.

It was a good way of getting your emotions out, and it was great because nothing you say, will upset the person. So, it kind of creates a trust system between the two people. You can do this with other emotions, but with Matthew and I, the one emotion we mostly talk about, is sadness.

At first it was embarrassing, because neither of us like to talk about these kind of things, but it helped both of us. Yeah, sometimes we...cried...but hey, we're only fucking human.

Matthew sighed, and I sat on the bed next to him, careful not to move him to much. "Gilbert."

Well, that was a vague answer.

But, all I could say was "Okay, thanks for telling me. What else are you sad about?"

Matthew chuckled humorlessly, and said "About how I never should've said anything to him. How I shouldn't have told him about wanting to die, or explode at him. How much I love him. How much it hurts right now. I'm pretty much sad about everything."

I just nodded, and figured he couldn't find anything else to say, and stopped with our game. I put in another movie-Frozen-and held him once he started tearing up again.

**_3rd POV_******

Gilbert, Antonio, and Francis were sitting in silence, thinking about what the albino Prussian had just said.

He had explained everything to the Frenchman and Spaniard, telling them about Matthew and why they had heard Lovino yell. "Mon ami, you fucked up. Badly." Francis said, glaring at Gilbert.

Yes, this was his best friend, but Matthew was his cousin, almost like a little brother to him, and he was very protective of the Canadian. Antonio said nothing, and just stared at Gilbert with pity in his eyes.

"I know I know! But honestly, what the hell was I supposed to do?! I knew he had depression, I just didn't think it was this bad alright!" Gilbert exclaimed, he was already blaming himself enough as it was, he didn't need Francis blaming him too.

Francis's eyes softened, and he laid a hand on the Prussian's shoulder, saying "I know you didn't mean anything bad by it. But now you have to fix things, or else that poor boy's heart will break. He's already had enough of that. And I swear to God if you don't, and mon petite Matthew suffers, you wont have any 5 meters to brag about."

Antonio and Gilbert gulped, they knew Francis didn't go back on his threats. Antonio soon smiled at Gilbert reassuringly, and said "Just go talk to him amigo, Matthew will understand. But you need to tell him about your true feelings! I'm pretty sure he feels the same from what Lovino's told me. So not to be mean, but man the hell up, and tell him. If you don't, you'll regret it, and Matthew will move on."

Francis and Gilbert stared at Antonio slightly shocked, not expecting that speech to come from HIM of all people. Francis then smirked at Antonio, and said teasingly "You cant really say anything Antonio. You haven't said anything to your feisty Italian yet, and you've been in love with the boy for years! Gilbert and Matthew have only just found out about their feelings, so really its YOU who needs to grow a pair my friend."

Antonio blushed slightly, but soon, all three were laughing. As they calmed down, Antonio stepped closer to Gilbert, and said "Okay, if you tell Matthew, then I'll tell Lovino. Deal?"

Antonio held out his hand, and Gilbert grinned, shaking it and saying "Deal."

**_Matthew POV_**

Only a few tears fell, before I sighed once again, and started watching Frozen. It's times like these that I'm glad I have Lovino for a best friend. He had made a lot of jokes during Bambi, and had tried awkwardly to make me laugh, and even let me tease him a little about his crush *cough* Love *cough* with Antonio.

So, when Elsa was singing her famous song "Let It Go", we heard a knock on the door. I froze and watched as Lovino got up and answered, and I saw his curl twitch in annoyance. "What-a do you-a bastards want?" I heard him ask, his accent thickening in agitation.

I sat up as gently as possible, being careful of my wounds, and saw that Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert were standing at my bedroom door. "Mon petite Italian, Gilbert has to...talk to Matthew for a moment. And Antonio and I wanted to talk to you about something as well." Lovino looked back at me, and I mouthed "Let him in."

He sighed, and opened the door wider, Francis shoving Gilbert inside my room, as I stared at my covers awkwardly. Before I could say anything, Antonio had grabbed Lovino's hand, making him blush and me smirk slightly, and had dragged him out of the room, closing the door.

I looked at Gilbert, and saw that his red eyes were filled with nervousness, sadness, and something else I couldn't quite figure out.

"Mattie...Can we talk?" He asked quietly, sitting on my bed when I nodded.

_'Well here you go Matthew. He's going to say he cant be your friend, because you freaked the shit out of him. It's your fault you know, and then you'll be all alone. Like I said before, everyone's going to leave you, and you should just end it. You've thought about it countless times, why not end your miserable life? Then you won't have to worry about trying to keep your friends anymore, and you can be happy wherever you go. Face the facts, death is better than what you're living through'_ I tried to get my thoughts to stop, and looked down at my covers again, not wanting to look at the man I love as he abandons me.

"I am so sorry Birdie" I heard him say softly, and I mentally prepared for the blow that would kill me. But, my concentration was stopped when I felt familiar arms make their way around my waist, hugging me gently.

"I'm so sorry that I made you cry, and that you've been going through this pain by yourself." Gilbert said in my ear, making me blush slightly. I was quite shocked, and didn't say anything for a few moments.

"I-It's okay Gil...Lovino has been there for me, and I-I saw my new t-therapist today so..." I said with my usual volume. He lifted his head from my shoulder, and looked into my eyes. Before he could say anything, I asked him "D-Don't you want to leave? Didn't I freak you out? Don't I disgust you even a little?"

I really was curious, only Lovino has stayed by my side, and I guess Francis, though I didn't go into to much detail about my depression with him. Gilbert shook his head, and I couldn't look away from his ruby red eyes, it was as if they were holding me in place.

"No of course not! How could I ever hate or leave you? How could the most perfect person I've ever met, freak me out or disgust me?" Gilbert asked me, shocking me even more and making my heart flutter.

I laughed a little, making confusion rise on Gilbert's face, and said to him "I'm not perfect Gil. I'm happy that you are not leaving my side, but I'm certainly not perfect." Honestly, how could I be? He's the angel, not me.

Gilbert laughed a little, worrying me. Maybe it was all a joke and now he's going to leave me and not be my friend.

"Matthew Williams. You are the most perfect person in the world, and you're stronger than you think you are. Yes you had Lovino by your side, but you've only been his friend for about two months. Before I met you, you had no one. And you suffered by yourself, yet you're still here. That to me, is pretty damn awesome."

I stared at him, not believing anything he said, and he seemed to realize that and sighed. "One day I'll help you understand. But I-I have to tell you something." Gilbert said, and I noticed the stutter in his voice. Was he nervous or something? About what?

"What is it? You can tell me anything you know." I said quietly, still looking in his eyes. He pulled me a little closer to his chest, and I sighed happily as he said something I never expected.

"Matthew...I love you."

I sat up, causing pain in my ribs but I ignored it and looked at him. His face was slightly red, making me think of Lovino when he's embarrassed, and my jaw dropped as I repeated the sentence he just said to me.

'_I love you. I love you...He loves me? No, this has got to be a joke, there is no way in Maple he can love someone like me.'_

"Y-You cant possibly love me!" I exploded. If this was just some type of cruel joke, then I would get Lovino to kick his ass. Yes, I loved Gilbert, but damn it this was just to much!

Gilbert hugged me once again, and said "I do though. I really do, and I promise this isn't a joke, I've always loved you, it just took me a while to find out. But Birdie...please tell me you love me back."

Once I realized that he was serious, I looked into his eyes again, and knew what that other emotion was. It was love. I smiled widely and kissed him on the lips with all that I had, making him grin.

I closed my eyes, and let myself sink into it, enjoying the feel of his lips on mine immensely. It was an innocent kiss, but had so much love in it that even though I was laying down, it made my knees weak.

We parted unfortunately due to loss of breath, and he smirked, saying "I guess that's a yes?"

I blushed slightly and nodded. "Qui, jet'aime Gil." I said in French, reverting back to it from embarrassment. He smiled a true smile, which i found to be breath taking, and he kissed me again, though I wasn't complaining.

As we kissed I thought '_Thank God. He loved me. He really loves me, even though I have my issues. But we can work through them together now. I'm actually happy now.'_

We broke apart once again, and Gilbert told me about the deal he made with Antonio. I smiled and said "Well c'mon we have to get down stairs! You have to tell Antonio, so he can tell Lovino his true feelings, and I want to see!"

He gave me a worried look, and before he could say anything, I got up from my bed, wincing slightly at the pain in my ribs. But besides that, I felt okay, being used to these types of things. Gilbert glanced at the noise, and grabbed my hand, helping me down the stairs as I limped slightly.

**_Lovino POV_**

I saw Matthew and Gilbert coming down the steps as Francis and Antonio bothered me and tried to annoy me the best they could. I looked down at their linked hands, and smirked. "I'm guessing things worked out?"

Matthew and Gilbert walked over to the three of us, and Gilbert grinned. "Things went more than okay. We're in an awesome relationship now!" The albino said, Matthew blushing a little at the statement, but smiling none the less.

"Yeah…we are." My best friend said quietly.

My smirk turned into a small smile, happy to see them together despite the fact that Matthew deserved better. "Aw, out little Italian is smiling! That is just so adorable!" Francis squealed. **Squealed**. Why does everyone want this guy?

I thankfully fought down my blush and said "Shut up bastard! I'm j-just…happy for them okay?! I'm human, I can be happy damn it!"

Matthew smiled and limped over to me, which worried me slightly. Before I could ask him if he needed to sit down, he hugged me, shocking me a bit. I was kind of used to hugs, thanks to my brother Feliciano, Antonio, and Matthew, but I still wasn't that used to them yet. So, awkwardly as ever, I hugged him back, and let go quickly.

Matthew laughed, and he walked over to the couch He then smirked at me, which freaked me out, and Gilbert did as well. The Prussian walked over to Antonio, and said "Well, I did my part of the deal. Time to man the hell up."

Matthew and Francis giggled, and Antonio looked over to me, a small blush on his face. He walked over to me, and looked into my eyes, forcing me to see green. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green I had to admit. They were a bright emerald green most of the time, but being friends with him since we were kids, I had seen his eyes go to a dark forest green whenever he was pissed off.

Trust me, when he got like that, run. He may not seem like it, but when he's pissed, he goes into his other personality called Spain.

Yes, he had a personality disorder, and only I could deal with the other one, as well as Antonio.

He was taking medication to keep Spain away most of the time, but sometimes it couldn't be helped. I loved both Antonio and Spain, I saw Spain as just another part of Antonio, and he was actually fun to be around too.

As I was thinking this, Antonio had been getting closer to me, eventually wrapping his arms around my hips. I blushed madly, and asked "What the hell are you doing?"

He ignored my question, and started to speak, a slight stutter in his voice. "Lovi? I have to tell you something really important." I looked at him in confusion, and waved my hand, signaling for him to go on.

He licked his lips, which I totally did not notice, and said "Lovino Romano Vargas, Te amo. I've loved you since we met, and I figured it was about time I tell you. I love you with all of my heart, and I really hope you love me as we-"

Before he could continue, I had already smashed my lips against him, my heart beating against my chest. He smiled into it, and guided me since I was…not as experienced. We kissed softly, but with passion, and I completely forgot about everyone else that was in the room. Once we both ran out of breath, I couldn't help the big smile that came on my face, and said "Ti amo troppo Antonio."

He smiled as well, and hugged me tightly. I stayed there for a moment, enjoying the closeness before I heard Matthew, Gilbert, and Francis yell "Yeah! Go Toni! Go Lovi!" I blushed and a string of curses flew out of my mouth, before Antonio stopped them with a kiss.

I was not complaining in the slightest.

**_Matthew POV_**

I smiled as Lovino and Antonio kissed once more, and leaned against Gilbert's chest happily.

Finally, we all got our happy endings, as cliché as it sounds.

For the moment anyway.

I knew I was still going to have bad days, and days where my thoughts will turn south, but Gilbert, Francis, and Lovino will be there for me. I was finally happy now, I had friends who never left me behind, and remembered who I was.

I had a boyfriend who loved me as much as I loved him. And.,. I was starting to deal with my issues. Things were looking up for me, and for Lovino as well. Francis sighed happily beside us, and I assumed that by the look on his face, and the phone in his hand, that he had asked the girl Joan he had been talking about, out on a date.

I think she said yes.

Hopefully. she was not a woman to be messed with.

'_Your happiness will not last forever. I'm still here, your depression.' _I ignored that thought for now, and looked at Gilbert.

He looked at me and he grinned as I leaned in for a kiss. He granted me one, and I sighed happily as well.

Yes, my depression and anxiety and all of my other issues are still there. But, now I had people who care about me, and won't abandon me to the darkness.

They'll always be there for me, and that's the only thing I could ever want.

**AN:...AND ITS DONE! Once again, thank you so much to those who have reviewed, liked, and added this to their favorite's list! I can't believe that this is the last chapter :) So, until the next chapter in my other stories, or just anything new. Peace!**

**HetaliaAndSpamanoFangirl**


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